Gravity
by Yankeesam32935
Summary: Takes place after 2x13. Chuck's thoughts directly after the funeral and his interactions with Blair. Going to be heavy on the angst but with tons of Chuck/Blair goodness! More chapters to follow. Rated T for now but will probably eventually be M.
1. Chapter 1

I stared at the amber liquor as I swirled it around with my finger. As drunk as I was I couldn't help but grin at the fact that my life was exactly like this glass of whiskey. Half full, and as soon as I swallowed this mouthful it would be empty. Colorless. Gone. Evaporated into nothing.

I threw back the liquor and welcome the strong burn that echoed through my chest and all the way to my gut. I closed my eyes; hoping with everything that I was that darkness would come and swallow me whole.

Instead, her words came. Reverberating through my brain over and over again.

" _The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had...I will stand by you through anything."_

I swallowed hard. I felt the telltale burn in my eyes. I blinked because I refused to let them fall. Why was I even thinking of her? I had just buried my father in the ground. She didn't matter. Nothing did.

My gaze landed on everything in my hotel room. The plush carpeting, the sleek ornate lamps and the opulence of everything that comes with money. In the corner of the room two naked girls were grinding on each other. I brought them back thinking that fucking them would at least drown out my thoughts, but I was disgusted with myself, because I knew I would be kicking them out and telling them never to fucking come back.

Minutes or hours later a jolt awakened me. I looked at the bed where my phone was and Blair's name was on the screen. I ached to answer it. To hear her voice. To have her take this pain away. But I couldn't. I didn't deserve her. I deserved no one.

In the end, my weakness won out and I swiped across the screen brutally. I said nothing as I listened to her breathing on the other end of the line.

"Chuck?"

Still I said nothing.

"You don't have to say anything. I know you aren't okay. Don't shut down. You can push me away as much as you want, but just know, that I'm still going to be here, no matter what you do."

Fuck. There were so many things that I wanted to say but as I opened my mouth to say something, anything, nothing would come out.

A broken sob escaped me and Blair gasped as she heard it. I wanted to reach through the phone and grab her. To drag her here with me. Wrap my arms around her. To feel her warm skin, look at her beauty, to remind myself that I wasn't dead. I couldn't though. I was poison. Everything that I touched or loved ended up broken or dead.

The phone fell from my grasp and plopped on the floor as the call disconnected. I took the bottle of whiskey that was on my nightstand and gulped a mouthful.

"I'm a failure," I repeated the words out loud that everyone had always called me, especially my father. All the times I disappointed him flashed across my mind in memories I wished to bury deep and never be able to drag up again.

Another mouthful of whiskey went down. I patted my pocket and pulled out a joint and lighter. I stuck it in my mouth and lit it. Inhaled the sweet smoke. A sigh of relief left my lips.

This is what I was good at. Smoking. Drinking. Fucking.

The club music was blaring. Women dancing. Men leering at them and wondering if they would be lucky enough to take one home at the end of the night.

A scantily clad brunette made her way over to me and sat in my lap. She put her lips to mine but I immediately turned her around in my lap. I couldn't and wouldn't kiss her on the lips. I couldn't even look at her. As long as she was facing the other way I could pretend that she was Blair. She even had dark chocolate locks of hair that went down her back in ringlets. When I should have been concentrated on drowning my pain in the woman on my lap, I couldn't. Instead, her voice assaulted me again.

" _But I am me, and you are you. We're Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck."_

No matter where I was, her voice followed me. Everything about her was always with me.

I stumbled back to my hotel, my pants unbuckled, my steps shaky and in danger of falling flat on my face.

A hand grasped my wrist. A silky, smooth hand. The one I longed for.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I tore my hand away from hers and narrowed my eyes at her.

Blair sent me back a glare of her own. "I'm worried about you," she stated simply.

Her voice was soft, sweet, with a touch of pity. It was the pity that undid me. No one one pitied Chuck Bass.

I grasped her shoulders and pulled her closer to me. "I thanked you before for your concern but I don't need you. I don't need anyone. Least of all you," my voice came out husky, the emotion buried underneath the surface.

Those chocolate brown eyes of her shuttered closed with hurt. When she reopened them, the hurt was gone. Instead, in its place was defiance. She grabbed my hand and placed it on her waist while she cupped my face in her hands and brushed her nose with mine. "I know you need me, Chuck. In fact you need me more than you've ever needed anyone else. You need me more than your next breath," she said as she lightly brushed her lips against mine.

My eyes closed as I felt her lips on mine. I smelled her sweet scent and I wanted to inhale her and make her mine.

She pulled back. "If it's the last thing I ever did I'll make you admit how much you love me, Bass." A lopsided smirk was on her face as she turned around to leave. Before she did, she glanced over her shoulder and said, "You know where to find me."

As I watched her walk away, a flurry of emotions took hold. The hurt was there. The grief. The anger. The hatred. But now there was also a tiny dash of hope mixed in with all the rest.

 **TBC…**

 **A/N: Whoa! So I know this was depressing mixed with a lot of angst, but I felt like it was really important to get inside Chuck's head and make you feel all the emotions he does. I'm thinking of continuing this and making it a few chapters long. Expect a lot of angst with this one! But in the end it will be all worth it. I'll up updating this story once a week so you won't have to wait long for the next chapter. As always, thanks so much for the support!**


	2. Chapter 2

I sat down at my vanity; aimlessly dragging my brush through my curls, as I thought about him. He was the only thing that was ever on my mind. For so long it had been Nate that was on my mind. A constant. Reassuring. Safe. Even a little boring. Chuck was the opposite of all those things. He challenged me. Made me better. Annoyed me to the point where my claws wanted to come out and strike down his back. But above all there was love. My heart pounded when I was around him. I had butterflies, sweaty palms, the works. It used to scare me but I was stronger now and knew I could get through anything with him by my side.

That's why it hurt so much when he brushed me aside at Bart's funeral. The pain had radiated from him and all I wanted to do was comfort him, but he didn't want that. No - he did actually. He was scared. Terrified. Grief-stricken. I didn't know how to make it better but I would. I would never give up on him and if he thought a few harsh spoken words would do the job then he didn't know Blair Waldorf as well as he thought.

I wandered around my room; not really taking anything in as the pain settled down on my own heart. I lifted up my hair and put on a pale blue robe that felt like silk against my skin and sighed in pleasure. When I opened my eyes he was standing lazily at my door. I took in every inch of his appearance. From his mussed hair to the way his bleary eyes couldn't focus on anything and everything in between.

I slowly took a step forward until we were so close that barely an inch separated us. I raised my arm as to touch him but let it fall down at my side again. As much as I wanted to help him I didn't want to be rejected again. His previous rejection still burned and my pride wouldn't let that happen again. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged but said nothing.

I ignored the pain, the possible way he might hurt me again and clasped his hand. "Tell me what I can do to help you, Chuck."

"Why do you want to help me?" he murmured as his gaze took in my near nakedness.

"You know why," my voice shook with emotion but my eyes never left his.

"You deserve more."

"I don't want more. I want you."

A "fuck" ambled out of his throat as he used his hand to push back his hair before grabbing it in his hands and squeezing. "I don't want to talk."

I swallowed hard. I knew the question was stupid but I was going to ask it anyway. The answer was already written all over his face though. "Then what do you want to do, Bass?"

His hands came out suddenly as he pushed me against the wall. A gasp of air left my lips as I felt the hard surface and I knew tomorrow morning I would find bruises against my skin. His eyes seemed to clear, even focus, as he knotted one hand in my hand and used his other to slowly untie my robe and push it down to my feet.

My nibbles pebbled as he took in my nakedness. One of those strong hands slowly brushed against my cheek and he rasped out, "So soft."

This felt wrong. Of course I wanted him. But more than that I wanted to help him through his pain not just delay it for a few minutes. I knew that's what the sex was about. I knew he was using me so he didn't need to think or let the pain in. He needed to keep his mind occupied and I was the perfect distraction. I wanted to be more than a distraction though. I didn't want him to fuck me and discard me which is what I had a strong feeling would happen.

There was no foreplay. No kissing. He unbuckled and unzipped his pants and took his cock in his hand. He stroked it until he was hard while he looked at my body and grasped my thigh in his hand while my legs wrapped around his hips.

"You're so beautiful. I really don't deserve this. You."

I reached between us to grab his hard dick and brought it to my throbbing entrance. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

He laughed. Completely without humor. "Of course, Blair. What else would I want?" His gaze ran cruelly down my body before he brought his eyes back to mine and a lopsided smirk was on his face. "You were always a good fuck."

Pain lashed through my insides at his words. I reminded myself that it was his grief talking and nothing more but it didn't change the hurt. "I think I was more than that."

"You weren't."

"So prove it then. Fuck me and feel nothing. I bet you that you won't be able to." I knew by challenging him to a bet he would do it and that's exactly what I wanted. Chuck had never been able to back down from a challenge and maybe that's what I needed to regain the hand here. To make him forget his grief for half a second and let his feelings for me in.

A husky laugh escaped him. "I know what you're trying to do. It's not going to work."

He palmed my ass and lifted me higher so he could get just the right angle to thrust inside of me. I opened my legs wider, already accepting the outcome of what he needed at right this minute.

"Wait," I breathed out and he lifted his head and stared down at me. I grabbed his face in my hands and brushed my lips against his. Wrapping an arm around his neck I deepened the kiss. He let me. Chuck opened his mouth and I took the opportunity to slide my tongue inside of his mouth and brush it against his. He let out a deep growl as we continued to kiss. It was passionate. Erotic. US.

"Mmm, " I made a sound of deep satisfaction in my throat as my lips left his and started to travel down his neck and take love bites. "It's so good with us. Remember it. This. How I can make you feel."

He had started to lean his head back to accept my kisses, but my words broke the spell. He slowly unwound my legs from around his waist and moved me down to the floor. He just looked at me and stared at my cherry red lips, which were bruised from our kiss.

"Fuck, Blair. Godddamn it!" he spoke the words brutally before he stormed out of my room and took the stairs in a rush.

A smile tugged at my lips as I let it spread across. I knew the battle would be uphill but I was determined as ever. If he didn't love me he would have just fucked me. The fact that he didn't spoke volumes. I had gotten through his defenses and he had let me in. Just for a blistering second. The next time I vowed to myself it would be longer. I knew in my heart I was the one that was going to save Chuck Bass from himself. My love for him continued to beat stronger every single second.

 **TBC**

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed the latest installment! I still have a few more chapters planned of this, but thank you so much for reading!**


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